When my wife came home she said, "Why are you packing your things in cardboard boxes?"
"We'll have to split up."
"But we have a happy marriage."
I showed her Jerry Votendahl's October letter to the editor. It read "... Ms. Capestany is wrong to suggest that R-74 reaches out to 'everyone' as it, in fact, disenfranchises traditional marriages between a man and a woman."
"Our marriage has been disenfranchised," I said. "It's meaningless."
"Couldn't we just live together?"
"We'd be living in sin. Pastor Antigay would denounce us."
"I guess we should have obeyed him when he asked us to donate to the Preserve Marriage campaign."
"History repeats," I said. "Men were disenfranchised in 1919."
"How did women's winning the right to vote hurt men?"
"They got depressed. Haven't you ever heard of the Great Depression?"
She took the TV set out of my arms and plugged it back in. "I get the computer, too. You can have your assault rifles."
"White people got disenfranchised in 1956."
"When the Supreme Court struck down segregation laws?" She stuck up both thumbs. "The next day Rosa Parks got on a bus and sat right in front."
"Uncle Skinhead never rode a bus again the rest of his life. He walked everywhere."
"That must have made him healthy."
"You think so? He got run over by a bus."
She helped carry my guns to the car. ''Married women voted for Romney 53 percent to 46 percent, but single women chose Obama 67 percent to 31 percent. Now that I'm single I can vote for Democrats."
Horrified, I saw the future. On Nov. 6 three states approved gay marriage. After Obama appoints a liberal Supreme Court justice, the court will rule that banning gay marriage is unconstitutional. Across the nation, 55 million heterosexual marriages will be disenfranchised. Most newly single women will switch parties and vote Democratic. Health care will become available to everyone. What a nightmarish scenario!
I brought my guns back into the house. "I don't want to leave," I said, "but our marriage has been disenfranchised."
She hugged me. "Maybe Mr. Votendahl is wrong. Maybe our marriage won't be affected one bit."
Feeling my belief system crumble, I turned to my support group, Fox News.