You know you’re a socialist when you believe ...
Federal welfare actually reduces poverty.
Federal spending actually improves education.
Government regulation reduces the cost of health care, education, or anything.
Government allocates resources wisely and compassionately.
Sixteen trillion is not a spending problem.
Or when you believe ...
A flat tax (or God’s tithe) is inherently unfair and whatever “the rich” pay isn’t enough.
People can’t be trusted to govern their own lives, but they can be trusted to govern the lives of others.
Liberty and personal responsibility are failed and backward but massive debt, taxation, bureaucracy and government dependency are successful and advanced.
Or when ...
You classify people as groups, and not as individuals.
You believe group rights trump individual rights.
You oppose racism but support affirmative action.
You believe crimes against protected persons merit greater punishment.
You value security over liberty, outcome over opportunity, and “fairness” over freedom.
You’re proudly “pro-choice,” even though you’re anti-choice in health care, guns, schools, parental rights, states’ rights, right to work, spending reform, Social Security, hiring, firing, school prayer, Boy Scouts and most everything besides abortion.
You believe the ultimate freedom is the right to kill one’s unborn child at no cost to oneself, but label others uncompassionate and anti-child.
You respond emotionally, not rationally.
You support politicians who use children and public employees as props.
You measure social progress by the percentage of GDP consumed by government.
You demand a new law for every problem and a bailout for every hardship.
You derive your worldview from MSNBC.
You worship tolerance and diversity but hate conservatives, Republicans, “the rich,” the Bible, Christians, creationism, the Ten Commandments, business owners, gun owners, pro-lifers, traditional marriage supporters, non-PC ideas, Fox News, home schooling and anything else that conflicts with your belief system.
Evolution, free abortion and anthropogenic climate change are fundamental tenets of your faith.
You oppose debt ceilings, balanced budgets and even tiny reductions in spending growth as hateful, partisan attacks upon the poor and needy.
You see no conflict-of-interest between good government and the number of voters receiving government payments.
You never saw a federal spending program you didn’t like.
You believe all religions are good, bad or the same, that man’s ideas (especially yours) are better than God’s, and that government has replaced Jesus as the redeemer of mankind.
If you believe some — or all — of these things ...
You just might be a socialist.