Igor 1 month, 1 week ago

Mr. Higgins,

Your letter actually bought tears to my eyes. So refreshing to meet another member of the Anthropogenic Church of Global Warming. Where do you attend services and who is your Pastor? You might just have a new member in me, ol’ Igor.

And I’m so glad to hear that you believe in an AGW Satan. Yes, no matter what the non-believers say, Satan is real, working in spirit. You can see him and hear him in this world every day. Satan is real, working with power. He can tempt you and lead you astray.

You and I both know that carbon emissions and Satan are what is causing the draught and fires and, even though there’s no scientific evidence to support our belief, we know it is so “because it is so.” It’s an article of faith with our religion.

To hell with the facts. Massive fires and draughts have occurred before and our east coast is still digging itself out of the worst snow storm they’ve ever had. But, Brother, if you and I and the rest of our devout brethren were ever to consider the facts, well, then, we would wouldn’t have our religion no more. Would we?

Like you, my brother, I believe, but, in the words of Lew Reed, “It Takes a Bus Load of Faith to Get By.” Which is why we need one another. But I do believe Brother! I believe! May Giana bless me! For I am a true believer like you.

Get thee behind me Satan and don’t come back no ‘mo, no mo’, no mo’! Hallalujah Giana, ‘cause I believe!! I believe!! Down to the river! Down to the river! And down on yer knees! Oh, look, there’s Al Gore a strolling down the hill with a polar bear in tow. What mo’ proof does we need my Brother?

Hey, anyway, I got a kick out of your letter. But before you go comparing me to Satan then you better git your lies straight. Hey who don’t like Gene and the Pearls?

Cu Chi Igor


Sign in to comment

Click here to sign in